Surrounded By Assclowns

This post was suppose to be another entry about my saga of a marriage.  But I decided I'd like to jump to the present for today.  I'm blessed to have an amazing support system -my friends, and my family however I do not think my family truly understands what divorce is and means. And that frustrates me and leaves me baffled.  Anyone who knows me knows how hard I fought to save my marriage, I always believed when you marry someone it is forever. My divorce was for survival, there came a point where the abuse needed to stop and I needed to put myself first. 

When I finally decided to file for divorce I met someone else.  I was not actively looking to meet someone, it was a compete accident.  We did not date until after I filed my papers. At the time I thought he was a great guy.  I looked past the fact that he was a very little man (literally), pushing 40 with a male roommate or as my friends called it a "gaymate", and was cheap beyond belief.  I had severe Divorce Goggles and this guy who we will refer to as Peter Pan was my rebound.  Peter Pan knew everything, and I mean everything.  No matter what you were doing he'd rocked that or so he said.  In the beginning I thought that was wonderful, towards the end of the relationship it was just annoying.  Right down to ice cream, Peter Pan knew all you needed to know about it, even the proper way to scoop it to not make "doggy tracks" whatever the fuck that meant.  

Anywho, Peter and I broke up back in September  We will revisit Peter in future blogs.  Merely for the sake of amusement because the break up was downright hilarious.  And his cheapness was pretty funny too, I should have broke up with Peter when he handed me an empty Christmas card that said "Merry Christmas honey!  Christmas just popped up this year.  I'm going to buy us Jersey Boy tickets in April"   You fucking cheap bastard, call me materialistic but I don't want my gift in APRIL unless you're taking me to an island and I don't mean Staten Island.  Well he never brought the tickets, and last time I checked Jesus was born on December 25th for the past few decades.  Peter was just a major cheap-o.

After I kicked Peter to the curb, my sister was kind enough to solicit me on match.com where I met my current boyfriend.  I was very hesitant to put myself online for dating.  It felt awkward to me.  I mean you sit and browse all these photos of men and think, I wonder if you're the one I might see naked.  I didn't like it, but after being on match for about a day this guy emailed me with two words, "pretty smile." We had our first date a few days later, and I'm happy to say I'm off the online dating world. 

We are dating almost 4 months, and because I really like this guy I have no mean nicknames for him, yet.  I will not blog about him out of respect for our relationship, and out of fear of jinxing a good thing.  All I will say is I like this guy, a lot.  Cross your fingers he doesn't go crazy, cheat with underage girls multiple times, start mooing at me or get a gaymate.  If he doesn't do any of the above I will be a very happy girl.

I think I've babbled enough for tonight.  Tomorrow we will talk about Lucifer's meltdown and his taste for underage cashiers at K-Mart. 

I will leave you with a pic a friend sent me.  Assclown, a great term one I used to use regularly for Lucifer.