First let me apologize for my hiatus. My trip to South Beach was work then play, so I was insanely busy. I barley had time to pee let alone blog. But, I'm back and have lots of new and improved stuff for everyone.
Let's begin with South Beach. Once my work was complete, I had a whole weekend with my new love. We started our week with him giving me gorgeous roses for Valentines Day and ended the week with him buying me a stunning dress and some other clothing items. Just between us, he could have came back to the room with a pack of gum and I would have been thrilled. The fact that he went out on a shopping mission in Miami just for me made me ridiculously happy, it is perhaps the cutest thing a man has ever done for me. Coming out of the marriage from hell, and then dating Peter Pan/the world's cheapest guy I was in bliss. While I am not a materialistic person, everyone likes to be courted by a handsome man. And when that handsome man, is what appears to be a really nice guy that's genuine well that is a bonus.
I've been dating "him" for the past 5 months, and I've been beyond cautious. After being together for an entire week, I have decided to finally let my guard down. And for someone like me, this is not an easy task. The fear of getting hurt again is huge, but the fear of never finding the true Mr. Right is even bigger. For the first time EVER, I spent an entire week with another man and not ONCE did I think of my ex husband, etc. It was the greatest feeling ever. We would go out and truly enjoy one another's company, I wasn't worried about anything but that moment. This is a major milestone for me.
I can tell you that after spending this week in South Beach with new love aka NL, I came home ready to start a new chapter in my life. After spending an entire marriage building walls and living in fear, I'm finally ready to take a stab at being "normal" I have no idea what God has in store for me, I can only hope and pray that at the end of this road is happiness.
Tomorrow, I promise will be the long anticipated blog on Lucifer and his infidelity.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
To Trust of Not to Trust
After you've had your significant other cheat on you multiple times, you find it difficult to trust again. Compound that by your rebound Peter Pan cheating, or you finding evidence that leads you believe that he cheated and well you have quite the dilemma. Those of you that know me well, know I spend quite a bit of my free time in the gym. My reason? A good workout gets the "crazy" thoughts out of my head, and keeps the self esteem in check.
Looking back on last year, I think I should have conquered my fear of being alone and ditched Peter Pan immediately after his Christmas incident. But I didn't, why you ask? Because I was afraid of really being alone. I was still in college when I met Lucifer, and for better or worse I spent 13 year of my life with him. So despite what a jerkoff he was to me, he was there. It's not easy going from always having an anchor there, to having no one there. And fear my friends, is what can be our worst enemy. Many of my girlfriends told me I was making a big mistake by wasting my time with Peter Pan, but I of course did not listen. The only person I could have compared Peter Pan to was Lucifer, so in the beginning I thought he was Mr. Wonderful. I was blinded by what were nice enough qualities and didn't set the bar high enough.
Eventually my eyes were opened and I recycled Peter Pan. And I think for the first time in a very long time, God said to himself, "Let me show Lisa what a real man is like" I think, because next week will be four whole months with a really great guy. We even leave next Tuesday for South Beach, the first half will be work for me, the second will be play for us. We will be together for 5 nights, 6 days. Whoa. And I'm nervous, that the awesomeness will fade away, or he will go mad just like the others. I guess after 6 days together I will be able to really tell. Oh boy. Cross everything for me next week.
Now onto Peter Pan and Lucifer, I stalked them through Facebook today. This was big time stalking, mainly because Peter Pan deleted me, so I had to log on through a friends account. and Lucifer blocked me so again I had to use a friends account. I'm not crazy people! I was curious! We all get curious! Right?
You're probably wondering WHY is she stalking these man children all these months later. Again, I was just curious. Normal right? And what do I see??? Desiree wrote on Peter Pan's wall. And Lucifer is flirting with yet another 18 year old. A leopard never loses his spots, or a freak never loses his creepy behavior. My point in this is, ladies and gentlemen ALWAYS trust your gut. Don't waste your precious time on anyone who doesn't give you Diva status ALL the time.
Tomorrow I promise we will discuss when I discovered Lucifer was cheating on me the second time. I just needed a breather from all that toxicity. I also wanted the opportunity to brag how excited I am to go away with a normal guy. Or someone who I hope is normal.
Looking back on last year, I think I should have conquered my fear of being alone and ditched Peter Pan immediately after his Christmas incident. But I didn't, why you ask? Because I was afraid of really being alone. I was still in college when I met Lucifer, and for better or worse I spent 13 year of my life with him. So despite what a jerkoff he was to me, he was there. It's not easy going from always having an anchor there, to having no one there. And fear my friends, is what can be our worst enemy. Many of my girlfriends told me I was making a big mistake by wasting my time with Peter Pan, but I of course did not listen. The only person I could have compared Peter Pan to was Lucifer, so in the beginning I thought he was Mr. Wonderful. I was blinded by what were nice enough qualities and didn't set the bar high enough.
Eventually my eyes were opened and I recycled Peter Pan. And I think for the first time in a very long time, God said to himself, "Let me show Lisa what a real man is like" I think, because next week will be four whole months with a really great guy. We even leave next Tuesday for South Beach, the first half will be work for me, the second will be play for us. We will be together for 5 nights, 6 days. Whoa. And I'm nervous, that the awesomeness will fade away, or he will go mad just like the others. I guess after 6 days together I will be able to really tell. Oh boy. Cross everything for me next week.
Now onto Peter Pan and Lucifer, I stalked them through Facebook today. This was big time stalking, mainly because Peter Pan deleted me, so I had to log on through a friends account. and Lucifer blocked me so again I had to use a friends account. I'm not crazy people! I was curious! We all get curious! Right?
You're probably wondering WHY is she stalking these man children all these months later. Again, I was just curious. Normal right? And what do I see??? Desiree wrote on Peter Pan's wall. And Lucifer is flirting with yet another 18 year old. A leopard never loses his spots, or a freak never loses his creepy behavior. My point in this is, ladies and gentlemen ALWAYS trust your gut. Don't waste your precious time on anyone who doesn't give you Diva status ALL the time.
Tomorrow I promise we will discuss when I discovered Lucifer was cheating on me the second time. I just needed a breather from all that toxicity. I also wanted the opportunity to brag how excited I am to go away with a normal guy. Or someone who I hope is normal.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Operation Rescue Kitchen Chair
The next 3 weeks are going to be pretty hectic for me, we have a major work event coming up, and I'm swamped. That being said, it makes me want to reflect on what an Assclown Peter Pan was.
Peter Pan was a CPA and acted like he was the only CPA in the entire world. It was a bit over the top, and ridiculous. And the funny thing this guy would play the violin on how he was pushing 40 and still single. I've heard of the phrase "tax widows" but this guy never had a girlfriend long enough to make someone a widow, and let's not forget his cheapness. He was single because he was either gay or petrified of commitment. All these months later, and I'm still annoyed at what a coward he was during the breakup, and I'm annoyed with myself for not listening to my friends and kicking his scrawny ass to the curb after the lack of Christmas present incident.
Peter Pan and I "dated" for several months, and I use the word "dated" lightly because he was pretty much non existent during tax season. When tax season finished he was with his boyfriends pretty much every weekend. Don't get me wrong, when I moved he took the entire day and helped me but looking back I could have and should have paid professional movers to do that. I am looking for a companion not a little bitch. Harsh words, but true.
Once I finally moved from my house of horrors in Howellbama it was like I was coming back to life. I was able to really put my marriage behind me and move forward. I realized how much I wanted a real boyfriend in my life. And I started to realize Peter Pan was not boyfriend, and certainly not husband material. Putting aside the fact that I looked like an Amazon Woman next to Peter Pan, we really didn't share any common interests. So after wasting the entire summer "dating" a man child who I lacked any spark with, it came time to either shit or get off the pot. The relationship was pretty much dead, he would come over once in a blue moon and show more affection to Diesel. Now I love my dog, but come on.
It was a Saturday in September and I didn't hear from Peter Pan ALL DAY. Call me what you want, but when I'm dating someone and especially after several months I expect a good morning call or text, some sort of verbal communication and even a good night call of text. If I'm going to be exclusive with you I deserve that. Well the entire day passed by, so when my friend Sammy asked me to go out with her I was thrilled. We had a great time, I drank too much vodka, and I had the brilliant idea to drunk text Peter Pan. Drunk texting when you are feeling unloved is NEVER a good idea. The next thing I remember I'm home, in the bathroom drunk texting Peter Pan some more, followed by drunk dials. When I woke up the next morning from my drunken escapade I remember rereading the texts and seeing "I can't come over I'm in Seaside with friends" And then I knew, Peter Pan was with someone else.
That Sunday passed all day again without a call from Peter Pan. The final nail in Peter Pan's Gary Coleman sized casket was when I logged onto Facebook that evening and saw pictures posted of him and his beat up "friend" Desiree. See, I went to the same high school as Desiree, she was a bit older than me, but I knew of her. She was trash then, and is even bigger trash now. She has two teenage boys but you would never know this by browsing her Facebook page. She looks like she's been dragged around the block quite a few times, and is always posting about her ridiculous drunken escapades. While I enjoy a good frosty beverage, if you're a mother that comes first. The saying "a picture is worth a thousand words" is true. After surviving an entire marriage with a compulsive liar, there was nothing Peter Pan could say to change my mind. The relationship needed to be tossed into the recycle bin and I needed to find a man, not a man child.
One problem, Peter Pan had my clicker to get into my neighborhood and he had my kitchen chair. Yes you are reading this right my kitchen chair. Why you ask? Well because Peter Pan knew everything and you can add carpenter to the list. Unfortunately, Peter Pan also had a nasty case of Napoleon Syndrome and when he realized I finally saw the light he began acting like an even bigger man child. And this my friends is when "Operation Rescue Kitchen Chair" began.
Had I not owned a rather expensive kitchen set I could have cared less, but I WANTED MY CHAIR BACK. Peter Pan was totally non- responsive to my phone calls and text messages to get my chair and clicker back. I began feeling like I was regressing back into high school. It was ridiculous. I can remember sending him this email basically telling him "I WANT MY CHAIR BACK NOW!!!" No response. And being a women, the more he ignored, the more determined I became to get my chair and clicker back.
After a crazy night out with the girls and drinking way too much vodka, I awoke the next morning with my face on the living room floor, Diesel snuggled next to me and Tostitos in my hair. Don't ask, I have no idea. As I was dragging my limp body to the bedroom my doorbell rang and it was my sister and our friend Monika. My sister always enjoys telling me when I look like death and could not let this opportunity pass her by. As she started pointing out the Tostitos in my hair, we all noticed a coffee mug on my front step. At first we thought that perhaps in my drunken stupor I made myself some tea. But I hate tea, and as we examined the mug closer, we saw my clicker inside the mug. No note just one of my coffee mugs that was filthy with the clicker inside. Can we saw COWARD? And can we say WHERE WAS MY CHAIR?
Well this enraged me even more. Grow a set of balls and man up. People break up all the time, why hold a kitchen chair hostage! I sent yet another text, even my sister texted him. Nothing. Until two solid weeks passed and I received a text message, "Leaving for vacation, your chair is secured on my front patio."
Since Peter Pan lived in the ghetto with his gaymate, I immediately called my sister to take the ride. We hopped in the car and drove as fast as we could because to make matters worse a storm was approaching and there was no way I was going to let my wood chair get ruined. And we all knew cheap-o would never replace my chair. Peter Pan was no where in sight when we arrived, but I could have sworn I saw him in his car in the distance. This was becoming like a mini Lifetime movie. We saw my chair, "secure on his patio", tossed it in the back of the car and drove off. I had a strong urge to clean out my purse and throw all my tampons on his front lawn, but that would be childish. So we just drove off, laughing the entire ride home.
When we arrived home we became overcome by the giggles, because well, this was just stupid. And then it happened. I don't know if you have a sister, but there is an unwritten rule. A sister can say whatever she wants about her sister, but DO NOT cross her sister. And my sister was mad. I watched her transform into Medusa before my eyes. With a crazed look she was texting something to someone. When she clicked send she just smiled and said "Done."
She texted Peter Pan, "You never were a man, never will be. Now do yourself and everyone around you a favor an come out of the closet." At that moment Peter Pan deleted me from BBM, blocked me from Facebook and we never spoke again. I guess the saying the truth hurts hold some weight. And that my friends is why I refer to this pushing 40 year old "man" as Peter Pan.
Oh and if you're wondering my chair is proudly on display in my new place ; )
Peter Pan was a CPA and acted like he was the only CPA in the entire world. It was a bit over the top, and ridiculous. And the funny thing this guy would play the violin on how he was pushing 40 and still single. I've heard of the phrase "tax widows" but this guy never had a girlfriend long enough to make someone a widow, and let's not forget his cheapness. He was single because he was either gay or petrified of commitment. All these months later, and I'm still annoyed at what a coward he was during the breakup, and I'm annoyed with myself for not listening to my friends and kicking his scrawny ass to the curb after the lack of Christmas present incident.
Peter Pan and I "dated" for several months, and I use the word "dated" lightly because he was pretty much non existent during tax season. When tax season finished he was with his boyfriends pretty much every weekend. Don't get me wrong, when I moved he took the entire day and helped me but looking back I could have and should have paid professional movers to do that. I am looking for a companion not a little bitch. Harsh words, but true.
Once I finally moved from my house of horrors in Howellbama it was like I was coming back to life. I was able to really put my marriage behind me and move forward. I realized how much I wanted a real boyfriend in my life. And I started to realize Peter Pan was not boyfriend, and certainly not husband material. Putting aside the fact that I looked like an Amazon Woman next to Peter Pan, we really didn't share any common interests. So after wasting the entire summer "dating" a man child who I lacked any spark with, it came time to either shit or get off the pot. The relationship was pretty much dead, he would come over once in a blue moon and show more affection to Diesel. Now I love my dog, but come on.
It was a Saturday in September and I didn't hear from Peter Pan ALL DAY. Call me what you want, but when I'm dating someone and especially after several months I expect a good morning call or text, some sort of verbal communication and even a good night call of text. If I'm going to be exclusive with you I deserve that. Well the entire day passed by, so when my friend Sammy asked me to go out with her I was thrilled. We had a great time, I drank too much vodka, and I had the brilliant idea to drunk text Peter Pan. Drunk texting when you are feeling unloved is NEVER a good idea. The next thing I remember I'm home, in the bathroom drunk texting Peter Pan some more, followed by drunk dials. When I woke up the next morning from my drunken escapade I remember rereading the texts and seeing "I can't come over I'm in Seaside with friends" And then I knew, Peter Pan was with someone else.
That Sunday passed all day again without a call from Peter Pan. The final nail in Peter Pan's Gary Coleman sized casket was when I logged onto Facebook that evening and saw pictures posted of him and his beat up "friend" Desiree. See, I went to the same high school as Desiree, she was a bit older than me, but I knew of her. She was trash then, and is even bigger trash now. She has two teenage boys but you would never know this by browsing her Facebook page. She looks like she's been dragged around the block quite a few times, and is always posting about her ridiculous drunken escapades. While I enjoy a good frosty beverage, if you're a mother that comes first. The saying "a picture is worth a thousand words" is true. After surviving an entire marriage with a compulsive liar, there was nothing Peter Pan could say to change my mind. The relationship needed to be tossed into the recycle bin and I needed to find a man, not a man child.
One problem, Peter Pan had my clicker to get into my neighborhood and he had my kitchen chair. Yes you are reading this right my kitchen chair. Why you ask? Well because Peter Pan knew everything and you can add carpenter to the list. Unfortunately, Peter Pan also had a nasty case of Napoleon Syndrome and when he realized I finally saw the light he began acting like an even bigger man child. And this my friends is when "Operation Rescue Kitchen Chair" began.
Had I not owned a rather expensive kitchen set I could have cared less, but I WANTED MY CHAIR BACK. Peter Pan was totally non- responsive to my phone calls and text messages to get my chair and clicker back. I began feeling like I was regressing back into high school. It was ridiculous. I can remember sending him this email basically telling him "I WANT MY CHAIR BACK NOW!!!" No response. And being a women, the more he ignored, the more determined I became to get my chair and clicker back.
After a crazy night out with the girls and drinking way too much vodka, I awoke the next morning with my face on the living room floor, Diesel snuggled next to me and Tostitos in my hair. Don't ask, I have no idea. As I was dragging my limp body to the bedroom my doorbell rang and it was my sister and our friend Monika. My sister always enjoys telling me when I look like death and could not let this opportunity pass her by. As she started pointing out the Tostitos in my hair, we all noticed a coffee mug on my front step. At first we thought that perhaps in my drunken stupor I made myself some tea. But I hate tea, and as we examined the mug closer, we saw my clicker inside the mug. No note just one of my coffee mugs that was filthy with the clicker inside. Can we saw COWARD? And can we say WHERE WAS MY CHAIR?
Well this enraged me even more. Grow a set of balls and man up. People break up all the time, why hold a kitchen chair hostage! I sent yet another text, even my sister texted him. Nothing. Until two solid weeks passed and I received a text message, "Leaving for vacation, your chair is secured on my front patio."
Since Peter Pan lived in the ghetto with his gaymate, I immediately called my sister to take the ride. We hopped in the car and drove as fast as we could because to make matters worse a storm was approaching and there was no way I was going to let my wood chair get ruined. And we all knew cheap-o would never replace my chair. Peter Pan was no where in sight when we arrived, but I could have sworn I saw him in his car in the distance. This was becoming like a mini Lifetime movie. We saw my chair, "secure on his patio", tossed it in the back of the car and drove off. I had a strong urge to clean out my purse and throw all my tampons on his front lawn, but that would be childish. So we just drove off, laughing the entire ride home.
When we arrived home we became overcome by the giggles, because well, this was just stupid. And then it happened. I don't know if you have a sister, but there is an unwritten rule. A sister can say whatever she wants about her sister, but DO NOT cross her sister. And my sister was mad. I watched her transform into Medusa before my eyes. With a crazed look she was texting something to someone. When she clicked send she just smiled and said "Done."
She texted Peter Pan, "You never were a man, never will be. Now do yourself and everyone around you a favor an come out of the closet." At that moment Peter Pan deleted me from BBM, blocked me from Facebook and we never spoke again. I guess the saying the truth hurts hold some weight. And that my friends is why I refer to this pushing 40 year old "man" as Peter Pan.
Oh and if you're wondering my chair is proudly on display in my new place ; )
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