Wake up and smell the cheater!

It took several months for me to recognize all the red flags and realize Lucifer was cheating on me.  And while I really want this blog to be more current, the more I write the more I need to tell you.  Prior to getting married I remember thinking, "what kind of a stupid woman would stay with a man that cheats on her!  Marriage is forever but get some self respect!  A cheater is always a cheater."  Well I soon became that stupid, fearful woman. 

Christmas 2007 came and went, but I was showered with gifts.  Coach bags, perfumes that smelled like Raid, even a nice pan so I could make him turkey.  What a guy!  Immediately after Christmas Lucifer informed me that we should buy a house – with nothing down.  And we would use ALL of our savings – well MY savings to renovate this house.  I of course thought this meant things were better and totally agreed.  I mean WHY deal with the situation when I could get myself neck deep in even more shit?  So we began house hunting and soon found what I thought was going to be my American Dream.  A house that was falling to the ground in Howellbama.  This wasn’t Middletown anymore, but it was what I thought was my very own house.  How exciting.  The house was far from livable – I mean the previous owner was nice enough to even leave his pubic hair in the bathroom and his porn behind the fridge.  What a deal!  For an entire month we well I had construction workers in the home and I was peeling wallpaper and everything else.  Lucifer was always “working” many times until 1 AM because according to him this K-Mart was a hot spot.  People were robbing them blind.  I’m sure Mr. K-Mart was very happy to have such a diligent worker!

I reached my breaking point one night when I was tearing up the carpet on the stairs and I realized I spent more quality time with our Russian handyman Peter than my own husband.  I had a total emotional meltdown while watching American Idol with Peter.  Peter was scraping our popcorn ceilings down and would come at night to do this.  I have no idea why, he just came at night and worked cheap.  I would buy Peter chicken soup from the Pizza Place down the street because apparently Russians like chicken soup from Pizza Places and we would chat about America and how nice it is.  Finally one night Peter says to me “you’re so beautiful but always alone.  Your husband he doctor?”  And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  My soon to be ex husband was NOT saving the world from crime.

The next day as I was changing our address over on all the bills, I came across to the Verizon bill.  When I logged onto the site I noticed a spot where you could view all numbers that were called, texted, etc.  That little voice in my head was whispering “take a look stupid” so I of course did.  I noticed hundreds of text messages to a number I did not recognize.  I clicked to dig deeper, and saw that this number was getting texts as late as 1AM.  My stomach began to turn.  I counted over 600 texts to this number all times of the day, but the majority at night.  I realized who ever this person was Lucifer was texting them while I was sleeping next to him.  It was right then that I experienced my first ever panic attack/freak out.  I began to sweat like I had just run the NYC marathon and felt like I was going to throw my guts up.  I was at work on my lunch hour in my office, so I tried to act as normal as possible.  I closed my office door and just sat at my desk staring at my monitor.  I had to think of a plan.  So I did what any logical woman would have done, I called the number.  A girl who sound like she was 13 answered with what sounded like Britney Spears blaring in the background.  I hung up on her and called one of what I thought was our very good friends.  Till this day I have no idea WHY I did this, but I did.  For some reason I was afraid to tell Lucifer what I found so I regressed to my high school years.  When his friend who we will call Mini Man answered the phone I instantly babbled what happened and he assured me that Lucifer would never cheat and I was just stressed about buying a new home.  I think I must have been in shock because I accepted this ridiculous answer, hung up and went back to work.  Duh I know. 

About 3 more months passed and Lucifer was becoming even more rude and disrespectful towards me.  At this point even Helen Keller would know he was clearly doing something wrong.  I went back to the Verizon site and saw that he was texting this number so much our last month’s cell phone bill was $500.  Holy shit. 

So this time I picked up the phone and called the number.  She answered and I said, “this is Lucifer’s wife who the hell are you and why are you texting my husband so much”  What happened here is just really strange.  We began to chat and she agreed to meet me, at Starbucks in East Brunswick none the less.  I needed someone to come with me because I could barley walk at this point, me legs felt like jelly and my brain was all mushy.  I called my friend Jen and asked her to come with me.  I knew if I asked my sister there would have been a murder, Jen was a safer bet.

While I'd love to write more on my coffee date with "Angel Eyez" that's what Lucifer referred to our little Filipino as.  I'm going to call it quits for tonight.  I really hope I didn't put everyone to sleep, I'm trying to keep these posts shorter, but once you get going you just can't stop. ; )