Hell on Earth

I didn't divorce Lucifer because he was mentally ill, although looking back I should have left because of that too.  I divorced Lucifer because he cheated multiple times and was verbally abusive towards me.  Lucifer was slowly killing me and I knew if I didn't find the courage to leave him eventually I would be nothing.  But the thought of divorce was extremely scary for me.  What would everyone think, what would I do, where would I go, was I worthy of a real man every loving me?  All stupid questions, but they kept me up at night.

After well over a year out of work, Lucifer finally retired on disability.  He, well I found him a security job at Sears Holdings aka Kmart.  I didn’t care what Lucifer's job was because it was a job and he was finally paying some bills around the house.  And at that point I thought I still loved him.  He could have dressed up like the Easter Bunny and I would have been happy. I just wanted a NORMAL marriage.  I wanted to have a companion, someone to come home to and laugh with.  Not this lazy piece of shit who was getting meaner by the day.  Oops that wasn’t nice.  Anyway, after him working at K-Mart for about 3 months he became an even bigger asshole. 

I was only married about a year and it was not uncommon for me to attend weddings, parties, company functions alone.  It was wearing me down emotionally but he claimed he had to work.  I mean K-Mart security is very demanding, isn’t it?  I started feeling like the most unattractive woman on the planet.  I can remember laying in bed crying myself to sleep and Lucifer would be out cold next to me clutching his cell phone. When I would question him he would say he needed to have his phone with him at all times in case K-Mart was robbed.  I wonder if Obama sleeps with his cell phone between him and Michelle?  Hum?

You never want to think your spouse is lying to you.  And you never want to think your spouse would cheat on you.  So for the next year of my marriage, I buried my head in the sand and believed Lucifer's outrageous lies.  My brain knew he was full of shit, but my heart was not ready to get shattered, yet.

Tomorrow we will talk about when I knew Lucifer was cheating, what I did and how I got myself a copy of her diary to give my divorce attorney.  In the meantime I will leave you with a photo of what I should have done!